February 1, 2010

So now it's February 1st. First day of the new month, the second month of the year, the year of changes. I actually feel pretty good. I started looking at January's posts and thinking about what I had done to change this last month. I have made changes. Not great earth shattering changes. Small hardly noticeable changes. BUT, they have made a difference in me.

I have gone to every single one of my workout appointments. May not seem like much but it is when you are used to making excuses for why you just can not make it. It also may not be much to an observer but to me I've noticed just how much it has changed how I look at my day and myself. Again small changes that I did not notice at first. I am more aware of food and that I need to eat more than once a day. We are fixing more food at the house and I am more conscious of the fact that something needs to get made so I don't have to stop somewhere to eat.

I am more aware of sleep and how I need more than 4 hours of it. And because of that I am more aware of when I go to bed. Also I am sleeping harder than before.

I am getting more done around the house. Now I know if I can do what I do in the gym then I can carry boxes up and down the stairs. It's a slow process but the house is getting better because of doing more.

I get out of the house and run more errands. I get stuff when I need it instead of procrastinating. I plan my days more than I was.

Now I can hear and I know a lot of that stuff sounds stupid, ridiculous really. But it's not really stupid when you stop to think that maybe the reason I didn't go to the store in the first place is because you think everybody in there is talking about the whale that just walked through the door and, boy aren't I glad I got my groceries before he got here.

It completely amazes me of the low self esteem thoughts that were/are running rampant unchecked through my head for all this time! I think about it now. I hear those thoughts when they happen. I seek them out, hunt them down for the sole purpose of destroying them! Murdering them where they stand! I have become a vicious solider valiantly defending my kingdom! I will let no intruder in! See me! Sword in hand!

Ok, so that was a bit much, but fun. LOL Anyway point is, I've made changes, and while they are not readily apparent to others they are greatly apparent to me. I have decided to sign up for more classes with my trainer and to continue my path. It's money well spent so far!