Fri 19 Mar 10

Warning: This kinda turned political at the end. Didn't expect it. It's just what came out.

Wow! What a beautiful day! Finally! It was getting to the point where I was beginning to think Winter would never end. HA! We've got you in our grips now 'Ol Man Winter! Your time is ending, and I say thank God! So, to cover my week...

Last weekend, princess and I went to a benefit for local arts. We had a great time! We drank some really good Scottish beer. There was a silent auction and we got some great art for our home. Very exciting. If I figure out how to do pictures here I will show you. lol

This week at the gym was gerrrrrr-ate! Got to bed at decent hours and, ya know, I wasn't so tired getting up to go. Two people this week have told me they are seeing changes, aaaaaannnd princess is continuing to see changes as well. We've done really good on food the last couple of weeks and I think that has helped. Thank god for princess and the fact that she can make healthy food taste good. Cuz y'all know I'm all about things that taste good! I'm really feeling my body and it feels good. No funny comments about the last sentence. lol Oh I have a funny story. I can be a real dummy sometimes...So I'm on the bike thingy at the gym and I notice the heart rate isn't reading right. I am staying in the 75-77 rpm range but the heart rate reads only 135. Before heart rate has always been 150 something to 160 something. So like the dummy I am I start tapping on the the monitor. The trainer comes over and I say I don't think this thing is working right. My heart rate is always higher than this. Trainer says it's working right, maybe your heart is getting in better condition. This is what we want. HA! I laughed, trainer laughed. And I said, I'm such a dummy, I just thought this was reading wrong. Okay, maybe it's not as funny in the re-telling, but it was funny then. I mean, duh, of course the heart rate would be going down. That's what it's supposed to do. Anyway so you see progress is being made and I'm feeling really good about it.

So spring is trying to spring and our travel schedule is really starting to take off, and I'm loving it. So many things are gonna be good for us this year. Princess is doing good in school. I'm hoping that if all goes well I will be in school by the Fall. We are now alone in the house as the last child has moved out. Fun, fun, fun! And politically, wow! I've joined the Coffee Party and GetEQUAL. GetEqual is really important to me. Health is really important to me. I think there are some things that are taken for granted in the straight community and they just don't see the implications of their vote on others.

If the health reform passes then princess can get the help she needs. Right now she cannot be on my insurance, even though we are legally married. Our legal marriage only applies in certain states. Oh did I mention we've been together for 16 years! And I have to have documents stating that she is entitled to everything that we have built together in case something happens to me. Did you know if I was a man and we had a one night Vegas wedding she would be entitled to everything automatically! Jus' sayin'!

About GetEQUAL, big things happening. End DOMA, end DADT, end ENDA! It's time! It's our time! If I want to fight for my country I should be able to. Who I have a relationship with does not affect my ability to LOVE and fight for my Country! Princess should have every thing afforded her by marriage to me that others do. My marriage does not affect yours. If it does, something is wrong between y'all. And I should be able to work wherever and however in whatever position without fear of being fired if somebody should not like me being gay.

Whew! Didn't mean to go all there but...The reality is, I have a wife. I have bills. We've raised three kids. We worry about our future. We worry about our kids. We love our family. We love our Country. We have desires to be better. We want better for our kids and everyone. We are the same as everybody else in America. We live the same as everybody else in America. I pay the same taxes as everybody else. We love just as hard as everybody else.

There is more I could say but I will stop here. Just know it's been a really good week for me. Things are happening, physically, politically, emotionally, spiritually! It's a good time!

Tue 9 Mar 10

Today was a good day. When I was walking through the house, princess was behind me and said...wait for it..."you look smaller"!!! That is the first time she has noticed and commented on there being a difference in me. So, YAY! And that totally made up for her not buying bacon at the store today.

At the gym trainer 1 said my goal for you is to lift the heavy bar. I usually only hear about half of what is being said when in a crowd, so I said, oh do you want me to lift it now? And then I realized she had said it was a goal for me about the same time she said, yes, lift it. Okay so now I gotta lift it because everybody is looking at me. LOL Well I did lift it and when she had counted to ten she made another comment that, amazingly enough, I heard perfectly clear, and that was, "I know what you'll be doing tomorrow." I had an "oh shit" moment. But I'm sure everything will be fine tomorrow, right? Right?!

It was a beautiful sunny day and I got to spend some time in it. I went out in the yard and looked at our flowers that are starting to come up. Very nice! It felt so good to have the sun, not snow, on my skin for a change.

It hit me today that it seems I've really been reconnecting with my bios lately. And it's been okay. No, not just okay, it's been good. I think I might start going to more family functions and/or holiday stuff. I mean since we seem to be getting along so good and all. A piece of me is kinda waiting for the other shoe, but I am hopeful that times they are a changin'! Anyway for now I am loving the reconnect. I've really missed them!

I got some great advice from an aunt. She told me to not depend on anyone else to make me healthy among other things. Now, princess will be elated to hear this. And I do mean elated! Her main complaint is that I go to her for food. She wants me to be more involved in feeding myself. I however am quite content to continue to allow her to feed me! :D But I do see the point. Aunt also said she wanted to talk to me more often and, the best part, she told me a story about my other aunt, her sister! Apparently aunt 2 rode with aunt 1, and some others, and talked the entire 8 hour trip to Florida! haha Sounds just like her.

So like I said it's been a really good day. I feel very thankful today. Now let's see how thankful I feel tomorrow after the torture session with trainer 1.

Mon 8 Mar 10

This last weekend we went to Atlanta for a funeral and ended up having a really good time. I know that doesn't sound like something I should say but let me explain. Princess' oldest friend's mother died and she asked us if we would come to the funeral. The friend asked, not the dead mother. Of course we said yes. I got somebody to cover for me and I took off work. We got a hotel room through Priceline, so no refunds. We got out our "church" clothes, scraped up some cash and off we went. Before we left princess had sent her oldest friend a message saying we were on our way.

Now we really have been needing some time away just the two of us, and thought after the funeral we'll do, whatever, and spend some great time together relaxing. About an hour into the drive, maybe not even that long, oldest friend calls my phone because princess didn't answer hers. The first thing I hear is, "You're not headed this way are you?" I was a bit confused and blubbered, what? Oldest friend said if you are on your way here you need to turn around and go home! At this point I handed the phone to princess and waited. Come to find out, princess had the date wrong. Yeah! Funeral. Next Friday!

I had a good laugh at the thought of us showing up at the funeral home and saying, where is everybody? She really is late to her own funeral. You know, things like that. Wandering around room to room. Crashing any 'ol funeral that was available. So, here we are on the way, can't change anything because it's all been paid for, and having the reason why we were coming in the first place no longer the reason why we were still going. lol

Anyway, what I did get was...lots of good sleep. I felt more rested than I have in a long time. It really drove home how much better about going to bed I need to be, especially with the increased activity. I got to see my family. I was going to just have lunch with mom and then it turned out that she was supposed to be at my aunt's house with a whole bunch of my cousins and a few more aunts. So I got to see all them and had a great time. We got to do some shopping at the outlet mall and IKEA, princess' favorite. And best of all we got to spend some good time together! We even had one of those great heart to heart couple talks on the ride home. You know the kind that don't end in an argument and turns out to be really productive. I was happy about that.

And to start Monday off with a bang I had a crazy dream with 3 of my cousins in it. Yes the same three I saw on Saturday. I procrastinated a bit today but I did finally get on the treadmill and do the 30 mins I was supposed to do. I hope my trainers are proud. I will be going to the gym 3 times this week instead of 2, so we'll see how that goes. Princess is planning our meals out for the week. And, and, and it should be warm and spring-like all week. I am expecting this to be a great week.

2 March 10 Tue

Well, it's snowing a-freakin-gen! I know this is nothing compared to a whole bunch of people in the world, but I live in the south people! I was born in the south. I have lived my whole life in the south. I don't do snow every other day. My body is not ready for it. I'm not made for it. The first few times it's all cool and stuff but now, NO! It's pretty when it's falling but then I think I gotta go to work and actually be in this stuff, and, and, and it won't just disappear. It hangs around, for what seems like forever. It's the first of March in the south and it's snowing. That pretty much sums up my day. I will lean on the positive though. I refuse to be negative even though that's how I feel about this.

Positives: The snow won't last forever. It's supposed to be bright and shiny this weekend, and warmer. At least it's snowing on a work day. I am making changes. One great thing is I just looked at my calendar and realized I have a hair appointment this Friday, but I'm going to be in Atlanta this Friday. So I get to call ahead of time to change it and all this means my beautiful hair-doer (my word) won't kill me. :D

One funny thing that happened this weekend was I was talking and wanted to say monopolized, but instead said, are ya ready...monopulated! What a goob. haha Princess was in the back seat. She just leaned up, put her hands on my shoulders, and said, "Oh baby!", and then laughed her butt off. It was pretty funny! Okay, it's time to get ready for work now.

1 Mar 10 Mon

I had such a great weekend! I got to go home to Atlanta and as always it was wonderful. I got to hang out with some good friends. It was only for one night but much needed in this household! Princess and I got to spend some much needed time together, no school, no bills, just us. Very nice! We decided to remember that it is very important to take time out for us no matter what is going on. It was a good smack in the face.

After this weekend today is a somewhat lazy day. We have to unpack and do some things but trying to be lazy, still kinda tired from the whirlwind weekend. I wouldn't change a thing though. But it's time to get back to the real world. Time to start working out and going to work again. I'm ready though. I feel really good about the changes I've made due to working out. I had a couple of friends comment on it this weekend and that was a boost.

Talking about working out; My body has gone though, is going through so many changes. It's kinda crazy. I hurt in so many weird places, and feel good at the same time. But I am seeing changes! We had to do some walking while in Atlanta and I was worried about it, but I was barely breathing hard and I kept up with the others. I was surprised and impressed at the same time. This is working! This is working for me! Princess even saw that I had kept up and not breathing as hard as I used to. It was a great moment!

The pain, the weird muscle tics are all worth it. I just wanna do more now. I wanna get to my goal quickly. And I would be perfect and well on my way, if, if it wasn't for food. God! Food is gonna kill me I swear. I love food, I love good food. I want to eat whatever I want to eat, and I want to eat good! But I am not losing weight because of food. I am losing fat percentage, a very good thing, but I am not losing weight and that needs to go as well. So I have to make changes concerning food and that seems to be the hardest thing for me. I have lost 8% of fat in my core alone and yet, no weight loss. Damnit! I want my food!

Oh! Gods help me! I will make this work. I will do what I need to food wise. I will lose physical weight not just fat percentage. I will! Okay so there ya go. That's where I'm at for this week. Tomorrow work out day.