2 Mar 11 Running

So much stuff has been happening in my life let me tell ya. So Jeri, aka Princess, has decided it's high time we, WE, engage in act-tiv-it-tees! In the last month she has joined a hiking group, weight watchers, and encouraged/signed us up for a couch to 5K running thing. (All of which she wants me to join in on.) She also wears this thing on her shoe that tells how far she's walked. And has decided that not only hers but my eating habits need to change. Needless to say I'm kinda reeling and wondering what is going to happen to my cozy spot I've dug out on the couch?

So, being game and loving my wife I decide, yes! I will do the couch to 5K thing. I used to love to run, and this will be a good thing, you know, getting up and moving. Well! First off let me say, I think I'm gonna die. I mean not really, but good god! So I get out there on the first week and it's a run one minute walk one minute type of thing. I'm just not sure you can call what I did running or jogging, or even trotting at that point. Just maybe a pick up one foot and animate my body to look as if it were running, you know, in slow motion, or maybe even still pictures might be a better description. The fine display of cinematography in the first stages of silent pictures comes to mind as far as my movements on the track.

In reality part of me is like WTH! I used to be able to move this body with little or no effort. And another, possibly bigger, part of me is like WTH! How? When? What? And then I realize that maybe, just maybe, my wonderful wife fears for the future. Not our future of gracefully growing old together but the one where maybe one of us (me) is not around. Not around sooner than expected. I don't want to put words into her mouth but, well just but.

So guess what! My lard ass is out there humiliating myself for all to see. I want to be able to do everything that we should be doing and doing it together. I will put my pride aside to do what is necessary to be able to do everything that we want to do together. I know for me I couldn't stand that thought of losing her. I sure don't want her to have to suffer because I was the one that went first on something that could have been avoided.

(Did not re-read. Let me say now sorry for any typos or whatever could have been wrong.)

Fri 23 July 10

Still waiting to hear if Financial Aid has been processed, by the school, not by FASFA. I called the school and they said they got my paperwork on June 18th. I'm hoping it happens soon because final date for payment is Aug 6. I'm holding out for hope! We'll see. Worst case is I have to pay something but will be refunded by FA.

I'm working this weekend again. I hate to work every single day but I do need the money. I got me a new travel dvd player. I think it's pretty nice. Hopefully it will make some time pass, like the 12 hours I'll be spending tomorrow and on Sunday. lol

Princess is loving her job, and I'm loving that for her! I love it when she is so happy. I'm really praying that this becomes permanent for her. We won't know for weeks though. So we have lots of time to pray. lol

So that's about it. I wanna go out and buy all new school stuff; notebooks, pens, pencils, bookbag, whatever. Just new school stuff. I love it. Weird I'm sure, but hey.

Wed 21 July 10

Well, I'm all registered for Fall. One leg of my journey is going to be starting in less than a month. Princess started a temp job that might turn into permanent. And really that would be a great thing because where she's temping is a Hospital that has really good benefits and the hours are perfect for her and her temperament. We are on a roll right now. Things are going really good for us. The one bad thing is I am working 7 days a week right now and because of our schedules we don't see each other during the week. But it will all pay off in the end!

Still having crazy freaking dreams. Maybe I'll post one of them here. Just don't really know how to describe them...and god knows what they will revel. Some I would have a hard time saying out loud. I still wonder, all the time really, why I dream so vividly. I believe it must be for a reason, it must have some meaning. I've done it all my life. Where are the answers to these dreams? Why do I have to dream them? What meaning do they hold, for me or others?

Sun 18 July 10

I’m at work again. I hate this post. It’s so very boring. Cleaning guys are here but they don’t offer any entertainment. However they are working on the floors so I can’t make rounds because I have to stay off the floors. Fine by me!

I was having another crazy dream but Princess came in to make sure I was awake for work and it all flew out of my head before I could fully remember it. Oh well. Maybe it will come back as the day goes on, since I really have nothing else to do. I can’t get internet here so I can’t even use this time on that.

Rambling, sorry, I just really don’t want to be here today. And I think I will have to do this post next weekend also. UGH! Although Princess reminded me it is Bele Chere here in fair Asheville. So do I say I’m busy I can’t work or do I get the money??? Hmmmmm Let’s see, need the money but its Bele Chere. I’m gonna have to think on this one. Or maybe the guy who is supposed to be here will stop calling out and he can work his own post and then my decision is made.

I thought of something else about our cruise. Like I said at some point I hurt my leg, pulled a muscle or something I don’t know, but it was hurting really badly so I went to the infirmary so they could wrap it. After doing so the nurse (who kinda scared me a little) said I should not leave the cabin. I should fully rest the leg and only hobble to the bathroom. Um, I am on a cruise, this is the last day, I’m not fixing to spend it in my room. The only way she would give me a pass is if I stayed in a wheelchair and didn’t walk. UGH!

I can only say now I know for a fact that I have to stay fit and healthy. Princess about killed half the people on the ship by her lack of driving a wheelchair skills. Might I say she even ran over a poor little girl’s foot and then, in front of her dad, said, “If it makes you feel any better I ran over my own foot earlier”. Which she did but I highly doubt it made the little girl, or the dad for that matter, feel any better at all. LOL She ran me into walls, door jams, and like I said people. She would also pull up somewhere and just let me roll to a stop so I got rammed into tables or whatnot. She almost dumped me out one time. It was like anytime she started to push me she was all of a sudden in some kind of race that nobody else knew about. She had to go as fast as possible and plow down whoever got in the way. Old ladies and small children were at peril! LOL So as embarrassing as it was to be in the damned chair it was made even worse with Princess at the helm. God, I love her!

Funny but very true story. I could not make this up.

Sat 17 July 10

I realized the other day that I haven’t written anything in forever, so here I am. A lot has happened and I’m not sure where to begin. I had a birthday. Our youngest son had a birthday. Princess lost her job the first of June and still doesn’t have another one, which is kinda okay with me. I like her at home. But, we need money, so until I can make enough where she doesn’t have to work then, eh, ya know, work it is.

I’ll be starting school in a few weeks. Yay! Glad to finally be getting underway with that. But it also means I’ll have the equivalent of two full time jobs. Just one of them I won’t be getting paid for…yet! Lol And we just got back from a cruise! It wasn’t long enough but we had a blast all the same. It was a family cruise on Princess’ side. I got to spend some time with some of her cousins we don’t normally see and they are something else! I loved getting to know them. Lots and lots of fun!

We spent one day in Cozumel. Love that place. Of course we had to spend the morning shopping. I thought Princess was going to have a nervous breakdown trying to keep everybody together. But it all worked out. I passed the shopping hours with free Tequila shots. No really, it does help. Especially when you’d rather be at the beach already! Later we went to Playa Uvas. It is a great way to spend the day in Cozumel. For a price you get all you can drink, snorkeling, some food, messages, pool and ocean, and all you can drink. Did I say that already? And when I say all you can drink I mean I don’t think I had an empty glass. At some point I pulled a muscle in my leg and it was killing me by the time we got to Playa Uvas so I did not snorkel this time. Very disappointing! But Princess got some good pictures. If I learn how to put pictures up on here I might even post some.

So, it’s Saturday and I’m at work. Sigh. I am thankful for the extra money. I am thankful for the extra money. I am thankful…well, you get the idea. I will be thankful when I can make good money without all the extra work! Hence school. I am just going to look at it as every extra hour I work is an extra dollar for another cruise. I’d rather do that than think about what bills need to be paid. Lol Thankfully my job is not hard, but I do have to work at not being bored. I hate to be bored, it just seems to make the hours longer. Oh well, I’m not complaining. It’s easy money. And everything is overtime. But as I sit here I think of everything that needs to be done at the house. LOL

Speaking of house, it’s coming along. We got my office cleaned out and Princess’ office set up to her liking. There is still so much to do but we’re getting there. Maybe I should use the extra money for house repairs, but it always never seems to be enough. Why are house repairs so danged expensive?

I guess I’ve rambled enough. I’ll try to do much better about writing. It seems I have so much to say when it’s in my head. It’s the getting it to paper part that’s the problem. Lol I could write more on my dreams. God knows I’ve had some doozys lately. OH! And one more thing, I had to have my suit pants taken in at the waist…7 inches! Yay! And I can wear 2x shirts now instead of 3x. I would like to do more between now and Dec than I did from Jan to July. So, raise ‘em up. Here’s to the 2^nd half of the year and losing it!

Tue 13 Apr 10 Home Repairs

I've been crazy hard on myself today. At least that's what princess said. I tried to do laundry today and when I went down to put them in the dryer, I found my basement had flooded...again. It didn't look like it wanted to drain either. Now I know there is a problem with the pipe that goes out of my house and runs along beside the house to the front of the yard. But I just haven't had the money to get it fixed. I mean it's not like I was procrastinating on it, I just didn't have it.

So as I'm standing there staring at this water in my basement, wishing it away; I kept thinking if I close my eyes and then open them again, it will all be gone! But no, it didn't work that way. Again, as I'm standing there staring at this water in my basement I realize the time has come whether I have the money or not. I told princess the situation all the while choking back tears, mustering up the courage to call Roto Rooter, and swallowing hard quite a few times so that I could talk to them without having a meltdown.

The call didn't go as badly as what I had thought it was going to go. It seems the first step in this process is to have them come out and run a camera through my pipe. Get your heads out of the gutter, it's not near as dirty as it sounds, or is it? LOL Get it, dirt, pipe, yard. Anyway, get back on track here. To run the camera through the pipe costs 250.00 dollars. Yes, you heard right. I mean, immediately I offered that, Hey! I have a camera and would be more than willing to send him the pictures that I took myself, knowing I would only have to pay the postage price of the cd with the downloaded pictures. But guess what, it just doesn't work that way. lol They insisted they must do it themselves. FINE! If you must!

If only it ended there. But then we have to find out if it's just a repair that's needed or, dun dun duuuuunnnnnnnnt! If the whole 95 foot pipe needs to be replaced. YIKES! That sounds like money! I won't know what needs to be done or how much it's going to cost me until they run the camera. So now I have to pick a date for them to do just that. But I want it to be a good date, something important, because depending on the answer it could very well be the last day of my life! So dear gentle readers, if you don't hear from me again then you will know that upon hearing the news I fell out right in the middle of my own yard.

Ahhhhhh, poor princess! Just know I loved ya hunny!

So back to the first sentence. For the rest of the afternoon I spent it belittling myself for not being in a better place financially. For not being able to just pick up the phone and have them rush right out. For having to figure out how to come up with this money. For not being able to take care of my family. For the weather. For the dust that has gathered in the corners of the room. For one of my cats being silver instead of the black, and black and white theme we have going with the other two. For the grass being green. Whatever! Whatever I could possibly think of, it was totally my fault and I blamed myself for it not being better.

But then right before I had to be all grown up again and go to work, I got my head on right and put everything back in perspective, and realized that in fact it is NOT my fault that the grass is green. :-) And I got a hug from princess, which always makes everything in life better!

Sat 3 Apr 10 A Glimpse of Life with Princess

Okay, so I can't believe how time gets away from me. Then it's like 2 weeks since the last time I said anything. First off it's Easter weekend, or Ostara weekend. And what a beautiful weekend it is! But it turned out I had to work. I've been taking little walks outside while I'm working to try and soak up some of the sun. These are the times I ask myself, why don't I live in the Caribbean somewhere? Then I would have sun most of the time. Anyway the extra money will be very good! So I'm grateful for the work.

My workouts are getting really good and the food is getting better. We're buying more food and princess is cooking more. My trainer just said they want to step up the program. I'm not exactly sure what that means, but I'm in. I bought a bike. This should be an interesting experience. I don't think I've been on a bike since I was a kid, late teens at the latest. So I guess the first thing I will do is go to the flattest area possible and see if there is any balance left in me. Hopefully princess won't sneak out there with video camera and get it all on film. Although something that tragic might just go viral. Maybe I should re-think the video. LOL

I have been feeling really great lately. More energy, more...something. I really don't know how to name it right now. But damn I feel good! I don't know if it's because Winter is over and Spring is here. I don't know exactly what it is but I like it. Maybe it's because the last kid moved out a few months ago and now we have the house all to ourselves. lol Who knows? What I do know is I'm gonna keep riding the wave until it spills me.

While I sit here at work and write about my boring life, princess is out yard-sailing. Something you may not know about princess is she has a problem with empty spaces. lol It's not really a conscious thing for her. It just is. I clean the table off, come back later to find a purse, keys, and old mail or something. I clean off the stand beside her side of the couch, come back to find it filled with magazines or books. I guess seeing a nice, shiny, clean area exposed for too long is just way too much for her to handle, and I imagine it must scream at her until she can no longer hold back, and so she promptly fills the space to ease the maniacal voices in her head. Because I am thinking, ah, the place is looking fresh and clean, no clutter, ah it looks great. And then as I'm looking over my hard work it becomes, WHAT THE HELL!

Well the other day I got an old freezer out of the house that's been needing to go for a while, and she had cleaned in child 3's room to get some of his stuff out of there, and I have gotten some old junk out of my office. So, voila! the voices are screaming again and she's off! Right now she is out at other peoples house's going through the crap they are trying to get rid of, so she can bring their crap to fill/clutter our house. Mind you, I've been talking about "cleaning out" the house, and every time I do...you get the picture. :-D

Understand princess and I have been together for a long time so while I'm writing this I am grinning and laughing to myself. But I think I have come to understand, even though it is so not what I want, that my house will never be cleaned out. It will be merely a place where clutter moves through, morphs, and gets replaced. When she gets tired of this clutter then we'll get rid of it and bring in new clutter.

I guess this means to live with her means to live without any available counter or table or whatever space. I need two houses. HA!

I love you so much baby!